First a couple of legends:
Nobby Standish--A Liverpool legend Nobby's notab
le for his famous bluff without a hand. Playing in the Old Winged Tankard Card Club in the early aughts where he won his wages from the dock workers on pay day, or from anybody on the dole who had just cashed their government check he made one of Britain's greatest bluffs. One foggy night, after a warmup of gin and Silent Sally, Nobby got into a hand with Oscar Starr (yes a relation of Ringo... in fact his grandpapa), playing the Queens favorite game Omaha. Nobby called on the turn having just boated up. However, the dealer in haste swept up all the folded cards but also grabbed Nobby's. Now, Nobby knew they were intractably stuck in the loo (as they called the muck at that time) but he also knew he could still win the hand, and he quickly put his large stumpy hands down as though they were covering cards.His opponent Oscar Starr, like his grandson after him on many a night, was sauced from drinking homemade highballs more suited for painthinning than consumption. He had a habit of looking skyward when waiting for his draw on the river. Bleery eyed, he was in just this state with his gaze afixed towards the rafters and he missed the dealer's error. Nobby glared at the dealer and indicated he continue dealing the river and then gave a menacing look to the rest of the table. No one dared speak. His scars from his days in the foreign legion across his bald head made even the biggest man think twice when Nobby was advocating silence. The river was bric-a-brac. Nobby quickly ejaculated, "I'll play for it all!" Oscar, peered down for only a second to see his draw busted and threw his cards angrily at the dealer, never noticing Nobby beat him with nothing--literally.
While that tale has become blue collar legend Nobby's greatest bluff is nothing compared to Archibald Kennsington Whey's brash entry into the world's 2nd richest game. In 1936, Archie had his mates deliver a giant package from "Hitler" to the House of Lords. Now in those days of English appeasement, Parliment got many lavish gifts from Hitler like this so they thought nary a second about the three meter round box being wheeled in by a calvacade of lederhosen wearing brutes. When they opened it expecting another batch of fine confiscated crystal goblets and the pin numbers to seized Swiss bank accounts out stepped Archie. Affecting his best
German accent, he said, "My lords Hitler himself sent me here with these Brauts and Bier and an invitation to join me in a game of cards. Let's play for say... Poland?" The landed gentry at the time were a gambling sort and decided all of Poland would be a trivial cost for a round of cards with such an engaging Bavarian ambassador and the frivolity the day promised. Pipes were lit and Scotch was poured. Then a couple of the more leery ministers said they'd play for the Polacks, but only if it was a house game and selected an English game similar to Bouree, Trample the Brambley Dick. Little did they know that Archie was the greatest Trample the Brambley Dick in all of the Commonwealth. He agreed, feigning half-heartedness and broke out his thick roll of pounds notes. Then Archie, the greatest Trample the Brambley Dick, proceeded to lose every big pot. At the end of the night he lamented, "Poland's safe! And I am for the moment flinted. However, perhaps, next week we play for Alsace-Lorraine?" The Lords in chorus assured him Hitler's money was always good there and Lord Suttenharrylee of Jefferson even put up Archie in his manor. The next time he showed up to Parliment he basically had an armed escort into Britannia's greastest house. Then for the next three months he fleeced the ministers. Archibald Kennsington Whey acheiving the impossible getting into the softest high stakes game of the 30s. A historical footnote, as a result of his wins and flim-flamming the British he also gave Hitler a free pass to all of Continental Europe.
More English poker legends to follow...
BULLFEATHERS__I'm not a cow and that's not milk
1 comment:
It has come to my attention that earlier today I made reference to something that could be construed as sexual. I did not intend to be so base. The reference to it not being milk was simply it not being milk not implying it were something else. My apologies. Should I have offended anyone I will excise the area.
Cheers
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